The Unconscious Language You Use

The main source of your unconscious language – both spoken and unspoken – which I believe holds the key to career success, job search results, happiness in your home life, quality relationships with friends, etc., is your attitude.

Your Attitude Affects Your Body Language
Body LanguageWhat’s going on in your internal landscape affects body language from the inside out.  Is your body language saying what you want others to hear?

Jan Hargrave, international body language consultant & author of Let Me See Your Body Talk says, “Research suggests that only 7 percent of the meaning in any conversation is contained in the words spoken.”

Okay, so doing the math, that means that 93% of what you say is not the actual words you use.  Most of what you what you “tell” people comes from your facial expressions, your tone of voice… and, yes, your body language!

But don’t think you can “beat the system” by doing something outward to cover up what’s going on internally. You can practice the mechanics of sitting this way or making eye contact that way all you want, but if you’re not “feeling it,” you will most certainly sabotage your chances for a successful interpersonal encounter. 

Your Attitude Affects The Words You Use
How are you using words? What are you uttering when you refer to your circumstances?  Positive words or negative words?  Pay attention. What you say aloud can tell others what’s going on internally even when you’re not realizing that you’re telling them. 

I come across this all the time. Earlier this year, I gave a presentation to a group of job seekers at a local church. Afterward, an attendee approached me with a question. She began with, “My problem is that I…” After I answered her question, I pointed out that she’d used the words “my problem” when talking about her situation. Her eyes opened wide as she told me that she didn’t even realize that she had said “my problem.” She agreed with my point though… Say you have a problem, and, sure enough, you have one. Say you have a challenge, and it sounds more like a puzzle to be solved. Just a small shift in thinking and projection, but it’s one that could make a huge difference… like a ripple effect. 

Once you pay attention to your language and then consciously choose the words you use, watch what happens. And I mean internally AND externally. 

Beliefs –> Destiny
I believe it was Gandhi who said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.” 

Time to ask yourself… how are you shaping your daily situation? And, consequently, how are you thinking and speaking your destiny?


Angela Loëb helps people rediscover and use their gifts so they can bring who they are to what they do. To learn more, please visit:


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