Always Do Your Best: #4 of The Four Agreements
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Okay, so what can a directive like “Always Do Your Best” mean to a goal-setting, always-about-self-improvement, achievement-oriented chickadee like me? After all, no one has ever really had to tell me, “Angela, you lazy bum, you have a problem doing your best. Get with the program and do better.” One time, I brought home my report card with a “D” on it. I can’t remember which subject – it was either math or Spanish. My mom took one look at my fallen expression, glanced at my dad and rhetorically asked, “We don’t need to say anything to you about this, do we?” No, they didn’t. I was far too self-driven to need my parents to encourage me in school. The next grading period I brought it up to a “B”. See what I mean?
Ah, but this one of The Four Agreements is especially important in it’s applicability to achievers and non-achievers alike. Here’s why I’ve found this agreement a special challenge… because I have a tendency, as Ruiz suggests, to self-judge, self-abuse and regret in my effort to be “the good little girl”.
To me, “Always Do Your Best” means doing what you can and living up to your potential. It means pushing the boundaries to discover your potential, and that can really be fun. It’s wonderful to come into your power; live up to your responsibilities and commitments; and transform when you reach a new level of awareness in your personal growth. I like to think that this agreement is about reaching and learning – not settling for less and not giving up. This agreement appeals to my eternal optimism and my inner pioneer.
However, are you loving yourself no matter when you arrive at your destination – whether it was yesterday or not? This agreement also alludes to what I said about the First Agreement, “Be Impeccable With Your Word”, which is that we are very prone to negative self-talk. What are you saying to yourself and about yourself? How are you treating yourself when you aren’t “perfect” at something? Are you nasty in a way that you’d never be to someone else? Is your inner critic in charge and harping on you pretty regularly? That could be classified as abuse, you know. Self abuse.
Whenever I think of this agreement, I think of that part of the Serenity Prayer which goes…
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
Saint Theresa said, “May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be… May you be content knowing you are a child of God.”
So, I guess, this agreement reminds me I have the power to surrender to what is.
True confessions. Recently, I lost a little of my usual all-consuming focus, allowing time for some personal and spiritual transformation after a wonderful retreat I attended. As soon as I started to regain my sense of urgency about my work (and this blog!), I complained to my sister that I wasn’t getting done everything I had intended. She asked me if I was doing my best. I immediately shot out, “No, I’m not!” But, in hindsight, if I stop, breathe and reflect, I have to remind myself that I truly was doing the best I could at the time. One day, I’ll be able to figure out how to fold space and time so I can physically do more, but it ain’t happening today! So there you go!
At first blush, this agreement seems easy, like you want to apply the Nike slogan, “Just Do It!”, but it isn’t so easy to change our programming at the snap of a finger. (Or is it? I was reminded recently that if all things were easy, then I wouldn’t value them so much. Okay, okay, I admit that’s true!)
Bottom line… this agreement challenges you to simply do your best and to be wherever you are. This means that it challenges you to truly live in the present moment. And, of course you know, the present moment is the only place where we can be in actuality!
