How A Rude Person Did Me A Favor One Spring Morning While I Ate A Pancake

I got annoyed the other day – really annoyed. Suddenly all the centering breathing, all the forgiveness praying and all the concentrating on releasing negativity wasn’t going to cut it. Enlightened calm and inner peace? Ha! I’d been stood up, and I was pretty aggravated.

Oh sure, many candidates have not shown up to job interviews with me over the years, but, over time, I’ve learned that people are people – some are conscientious, some are downright rude, while others deserve the benefit of the doubt. Over time, I have found it easier to shrug off a no show, no call. You know, don’t sweat the small stuff and all that jazz.

But this time it was different. Why? Why would I be feeling this upset? When the words “righteous anger” went through my head, I knew something else was up with me. True to my nature, I have to know why I’m reacting. Possible reasons?

It could be that I had forgone my morning workout so I could be there on time, thereby sacrificing a commitment to myself to fulfill a commitment to a stranger.

It could be that I had left a load of work at my desk so I could squeeze in this interview with her before a lunchtime appointment.

It could be that it was out of my way to go to a coffee shop to meet her, and I had given her my cell phone number so she could reach me in the event her plans changed.

However, even though all those things factored in, what I realized bothered me most was this… she had not shown up or called me while coming to interview for a job through my company. You see, I don’t work for someone else anymore. I’ve recently gone out on my own and work for myself now, and every contact I’ve been making with potential clients and prospective candidates has held an immediate promise of impacting my family’s monetary welfare. Even though I’ve always worked hard for my previous employers, it seems like everything I now do during the workday has become profoundly important, and for this reason I found myself particularly annoyed.

Aha! But, you see, I didn’t figure this out at first. It took some unwinding to get there.

So, I’m sitting there in the coffee shop with my cup of decaf, waiting. 5, 10, 15 minutes, and she’s still not there. Feeling annoyed. Feeling resigned. She’s not coming. I remember that I hadn’t eaten breakfast in my rush to get there. I remember that this place, Austin Java, makes a rockin’ gingerbread pancake, so I splurge and order one. A luxury to be sure because I haven’t had a pancake in ages. I go outside, find a table and force myself to try and relax. She clearly isn’t coming. I make a call to her number just to be sure we haven’t crossed wires. No answer. Tuck the phone away. Still vaguely wondering if she might show up late. Breathe… no, it’s really more of a sigh.

I then become aware of what a phenomenally gorgeous spring day it is… totally clear sky, warming sun and cool breeze blowing every so often. Breathe… this time it’s a true inhale/exhale. It hits me that, back at the office, I wouldn’t have had such high contact with this kind of reality if I hadn’t come here. The window would be closed, and the air would be recycled and artificially conditioned to a comfortable temp. Yet, here, outside the coffee shop, it’s already a natural 72 degrees or so. That alternate reality, my usual reality, would be of a telephone talking and computer tapping intensity – a kind of cyber reality instead of this sorta nature reality. It suddenly feels like a guilty pleasure to be here in the middle of a workday morning.

Then here comes my luscious pancake, another guilty pleasure, filling the plate with its goodness and smelling of exotic ginger spice. I slather it with cinnamon butter. No syrup or extra toppings necessary. Delish! Sudden mood shift. I’m lighter – it’s like I’m having a mini, one-hour vacation.

Okay, so you mean, the rude person who stood me up really did me a favor?

What if I gave her the benefit of the doubt?
…maybe she’s in the hospital unconscious
…maybe someone died, and she’s too distraught to call
…maybe her phone and her computer broke, so she can’t contact me
…maybe she has a criminal background and is embarrassed to tell me

And I realize that this is as it’s always been and that I am the one who is creating my distress by hanging more significance on this meeting than usual.

And I realize that ultimately her thoughtlessness has led me to a rare moment of slowing down and thoughtfulness. If she had shown up, I would not have had this rare break, this luxurious spring morning reality, this one-hour mini vacation. In surrendering my righteous anger at this person’s rudeness, I accept the blessing of the moment… a rather beautiful moment actually. Lemonade out of lemons, I guess. Wow! So that’s how this energy transformation stuff works!